Today was the type that starts out slow and relaxed- and it should be, right, since it is after all GOD'S DAY. (cue choir)
Jonathan had to leave to play at church at 7:30 and I thought, hey, why not drag my butt out of bed just long enough to drag his super-heavy drum hardware bag up the stairs. Thus, the day began with points added to my side of the marriage score card! Plus, I read somewhere that revving up your metabolism at the very beginning and end of the day can make a difference in the size of the butt anyway. Probably hooey, but the score card- that's important.
Today in church I realized I don't really like worship. Wait, wait! What I mean is, it's harder to do it as part of the congregation. Like Annie Dillard says, "I know only enough of God to want to worship him, by any means ready to hand." But when the band was playing today, and I was in the back of the VERY crowded room, I had such a hard time thinking about what I was doing. I kept looking at the people around me, judging the songs, noticing the way the band was playing, pretty much failing in any weak attempt to think about Godstuff.
It used to bug me that when I'm playing in the band, sometimes I get distracted by the mechanics of playing / leading. Now it dawns on me that I'm even less good at it in the roll of worshipper / reciever. Luckily, we're not supposed to be led by how things feel. (Hello, Mormonism.) We're just supposed to do it. And when it's good it's incredible, that realization that you can have a direct connection.
Of course, driving home yesterday Dancing Queen came on in the car, and I felt the power of the spirit, amen!
I was listening to Ray Charles' 1953-6 (somewhere in there) cut of "What I'd say" and I had a similar touch of the spirit. Man, that is a hot song. You'd think we could jive a bit better in the worship...but you're right, it is hard.
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