Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Shiny and New

Well, here we are again. It's so much harder to post when I don't really have computer access. Reading my favorite blogs just isn't going to happen on dial up and without my handy favorites list. I'm bummed because last year in Nablkaoithgj I met a lot of folks because I decided I would try to comment on several new blogs a day as well as posting on mine. Maybe once we get back to Portland.

I've been trying to figure out why exactly I think my life will be easier to balance and appreciate when we're in an honest to goodness house. A big part of it is just knowing J will be closer to work, and he'll gain 90 minutes a day to sleep or run or surf the internet. Whatever he wants, at least he won't be driving. Another shining beacon of hope is the ability to have a snazzy little studio in which to teach. I'll keep my college job, too, but I miss the flexibility of a home studio and the freedom to choose and fire students at will. I've only actually fired like two, ever, but still it's pleasant to think I will be in control. I always rather enjoy control. Fun new house factor number 3: my parents will be even closer! (I better type that really softly or Toby will crawl out of bed to do a softshoe routine while twirling a baton. Or something more masculine, who knows?

And the other nifty new house factor? That it's new. It has the shiny appeal of reinvention. Since high school I have moved every three years or so, and each time I've liked the chance to cull away lame habits and behaviors like they were so many boxes of gradeschool memorabilia collecting dust underfoot in the garage.

With this move I would like to continue my quest for consistency. I hope that with my own studio room thingie, I'll be able to commit to spending a certain amount of time in there each day practicing and studying the bible. I have been spotty about both lately and it's driving me nuts. One of my worst qualities is that when I am starting to feel panicky about my own lack of well-spent time I tend to project that all over whoever's nearby. I get cranky and impatient. The impatience is especially ironic since what am I so worried about all that precious time for, when I will clearly spend it NOT doing what would make me feel better?

Knowing another Ward is on his way, and having heard lots of moms of 2 tell me that the first few years with 2 is a tough transition, I think now's the time to get some habits going. Even if it's less time than my ideal, some every day will keep the nasty Miriam at bay.

IF we can sell our place and no one else swoops in on this one first.

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