For several days I've been debating what to say about the past week here. Lots has happened. In general, I write here because I like writing and because I'm thinking of people who read it and it's a form of chatting where I'm in charge and I like to be in charge. Another thing about blogging, though, is that when I describe something I tend to believe things are the way they come out on the screen. Like they get set in some kind of internet amber.
Here's what I wrote this Saturday:
What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have
done for others and the world remains and is immortal.
Simon died today having done everything he could for me all the seven years of his life. He was the sweetest thing in my life in Baltimore, hiked all over Aspen summer after summer, charmed all my students & relatives, and helped me choose Jonathan. Toby learned his name first- they had a deal where Simon would give me a guilt trip with his puppy-dog eyes if the baby cried too long and in exchange Toby would spit up near him as often as possible.
Did you ever see how he could jump through my arms? Or the one where he would wait until you gave him a signal to eat a treat off his own foot? Or where he'd sort of play dead with his tail wagging when you shot him Bang! with your finger? He rocked at those.
I can't believe it ended the way it did, and I think not putting him down sooner may just be one of the worst mistakes I have ever made. There was no way to know, but there it is.
So there was that.
Then the audition was Tuesday, and though I didn't win or even advance it was okay. No one really won and they only advanced 2. It was great seeing friends (Yi-ping advanced to the next round and wants to date Toby in 20 Joan Crawfordly years.), mostly. I saw a friend I've apparently been "not speaking" to. I didn't know we had anything official like that, but that's cool. She seemed well and I can honestly say I'd be happy for her getting the job. Whatev, I've got a cute baby and a hot sugar daddy.
So then there's also my Dad's prostate surgery was supposed to be Monday but suddenly we'll have to wait just a bit longer while the docs triple check some stuff, duplicate results, get a coffee and a doughnut, etc. Delays suck. But then no one wants a sloppy doctor, so I suppose I have to be patient. The actual patient is. Patient. That is.
Also, an alien gnome came in the night and afflicted all but my big plant with Slowly Withering for No Reason disease. That's right- the senseless heartbreak of SWNRD. At least indoor plants are cheap. And on that note...