I'm so good at obsessing, a wonderkind, seriously.
This time we are passing in a kind of limbo, between maybe staying and maybe moving, between investing more in life here and preparing to send out roots again, gives me a need to feel productive at something measurable. You should see me here, with my pile of library treasures and about a zillion links to go through. This month has been a good time to educate myself more about the many choices to be made about adopting.
The racial question has faded a bit for me, and I feel it wouldn't matter as much or at all once the child was a part of our family. With any adoption there is the decision to impose yourself on a kid, assuming your home will be a better world for him. Striving to make that life a fabulous one will doubtless fill our days and give us little time or energy to spend worrying about the minds of others.
There have been some nice discoveries. Observe these quotes:
Jamie Lee Curtis on folks questioning those who adopt interracially, "It's just hateful. It's just a hateful thing to say. It's obscene to question motive. These are human beings helping other human beings. End of story."
From an adoptive dad's comment on an adoptionblogs.com post discussing the idea that in a perfect world there is no adoption: "I am bothered by the idea that we should cede superior morality to the folks who dislike adoption. What we are doing is not wrong or second class, and we have no business saying that adoption is a bad thing.
We do what we do because there are kids who need homes. That is not evil or wrong, the institution of adoption as the vehicle that allows these children to have a future is not bad either. If the detractors can't come to the table without moral capitulation on our part, that's too bad and that should be a price we don't pay."
And finally, a little Rogers and Hammerstein, from South Pacific (1949)
You've got to be carefully taught.
You've got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made
Or people whose skin is a different shade
You've got to be carefully taught!