Update/Warning: upon reading this post a few hours later, I realize that being your own cheering section is profoundly dorky. And maybe a little desperate. But still, I never claimed not to love, emulate and maybe resemble Pollyanna, so you get what you get. Just remember I'm usually much cooler, more bitter and insecure.
I think I am getting better at playing the viola, and that makes me really happy. I played for a friend in the symphony last week, and the audition today went well. My concerto in particular seems to be back in shape after a somewhat ragged experience in Podunk, Oregon a few weeks back.
In preparing for this I tried to imagine I was going to play the actual symphony audition. (It was actually just a sub audition, and kind of a farce at that because they're effectively unable to hire subs this year.) I was pleased that I was able to settle myself and focus on what I wanted to hear, even though one thing they requested wasn't ready.
This isn't the kind of audition you "win", really. Except maybe they'll keep calling when they can hire. But two more of the violists there have now heard me play, so that's something.
I have a student at the little college! So now I'm going to play for people much more frequently, since I'll have the dough to cover those who charge.
It's true, there are fifty little brats in conservatories right now with nothing better to do in the world than practice excerpts all day. But I'm going to just keep doing what's in front of me and try everything I can to continually improve and really compete when big contracts are available. I want to be greater. What's the alternative?