And doggone it, people like me.

My friend Andrea posted about her not so impressive experience with a group of moms and it just reminded me how much things have changed in the last year.

I have people of no relation to me whom I could call if my car broke down.

Four women come over once a week and my parents hang out with the tyrants downstairs while we bond. Bonding is achieved like it always is: kvetching, consuming decadent foods and doing a really indepth bible study. That last part's the excuse we use to hang out- I'm thinking next time I set one of these puppies up we will include all three elements but add martinis. Our dining room table is totally sturdy enough to support a little liturgically induced dancing.

Just this morning I had coffee and book babies with one of them, and it was fun. She didn't mind when Toby smeared crackers he stole from her baby girl's very hands all over her jeans and I didn't mind when... well, she and her cutie didn't do anything offensive, but if they had I would totally wait to say anything until later, when I would post about it here. Ha.

I didn't dress with any of the library parents' opinions in mind. This group is so different from the smarmy cliquey groups I encountered when I was raw and new in this whole motherhood groove. The one friendship I made there suddenly dropped me a few months back. Maybe I mentioned that I don't buy organic free range lichen or that corporate Borgian bastards Starbucks, Target, Walmart are my motherships. Anyway, I get the distinct impression that a transgression was committed, and frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Despite my impassioned ranting, there is nothing to this notion of "mommy wars" the media tries to hype. It's just catty, insecure people given belly fruit and let loose on society once again tend to be catty and insecure. Plus, these poor posers are so missing the boat- they could be painting themselves in the role of saintly, all-knowing Experienced Mom and get high off the fumes of superiority. I am so going to seek out new mamas from now on, to smile and nod and fairly glow while I pat them on the hand in a spirit of patronizing unity.

I can almost hear the coffee grinder now...