Sunday, August 24, 2014

She likes: Balloons, Bunnies and Baba!

We have developments! 

Primrose's fear of Jonathan and need to control how much contact he has with her both seem to be dissipating.  We’ve been sure to have him feed her almost from the start, and to have him put her in the stroller or hold her up to reach things. We try not to cross the line to flat-out manipulation. If she doesn’t want the food from J, then I will give it to her. If she doesn’t want him to lift her, then I do, and when she refuses we both say, “That’s okay, sweetheart.”
The whole wide world speaks "selfie"!

Just, y'know, havin' lunch with Baba.

There are lots of ways of approaching this bonding business, and as you know I am by no means an expert. We read all the books and the blogs, we took the training courses, but what does that all add up to, really, when your specific child is in your hands? We have what appears to be an easy kid, plus she is small enough to pick up and carry like a sack of tantruming potatoes if need be. The orphanage director tried to tell us, in fact, that she was very easygoing but at the time it did not seem to match what we saw. Like I said, we don’t really know what we’re doing. I think her mix of obstinacy and pragmatism will serve her well as she takes her place in our family and I hope throughout her life. It really doesn’t seem to have that much to do with us. She is leading this whole dance. If we have done anything right, it has been letting her do that.

And God bless the make-up kiosk lady who gave her these balloons right off her display in the middle of the mall.
Letting her lead sounds lovely and all, but what it really means is letting go of your parenting style and accept that people may think you are different than you are (and Miriam, you shouldn’t be thinking about that anyway). If ever it wasn’t about us, now is the time. So, if she wanted to sit on the floor at the medical check (EW!), if she wanted to put her mouth on all the balloons (NOOOOOOO!), if she wanted to ride all the escalators (CRINGE) and drink all the orange sodas (DI-BETUS HERE SHE COMES), we will smile and say yes, darling (for now…).

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