Traffic is a dumb and lumbering damaged animal.
It posseses even docile All-State customer type people, turning them into drooling pawns of aggression. Tonight, there was this one car- a zippy Jeep diesel- and the right hand of the driveratrix found itself attached to the horn for the ENtire Seven Second Honk of Indignation (famous throughout Wisconsin and parts of Maryland). Now this honk was, at one time, a source of great consternation and annoyance for said Jeepstress. Give her one stupid drive on a night where WIND (Oh Portland, it's just W.I.N.D!) was the cause of warnings all OVER the news, slowing down every single vehicle, even the parked ones. This is what you get: hooooooooooooonk.
Merry Christmas, I-5! Happy Holidays, 217 North!! Flippy Flahbadies, power outaged traffic lights less than a quarter mile AKA 40 minutes from home!!!