Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Need I say more? I will anyway.

I figured out today who it is Toby reminds me of. This here's the Jolly Green Giant's sidekick, Sprout. Remember him? Yeah, I didn't think I did either, until I was spacing out on the couch and that thought sprang to life and I swear I hadn't been smoking anything at all.

I don't understand why nobody likes Brussel Sprouts. We steam them in broth and slather them in sour cream. I could eat just about anything prepared like that- as long as it's not one of the few* things I don't eat.

*Nuts of any kind but hey did you know cashews and peanuts are legumes? but you should avoid them while breastfeeding? so all nuts and nutlike objects, meat that is fleshy so not fishes but definitely pork & cow and stuff, stone fruits, chicken, and now- for a limited time only- sugar! Because Rachael's a whore and I will not let her think she is better than me, even if she did play on the Evanescence cd, because at least I beat her at... uh... contraceptual failure. So.. hah!

Mom wore me out today making me drive all over town for those *&@!%$ microscope slides, which is what lead to me vegging (GET IT???!!! """Sprout""") on the couch. She's a slavedriver for her crafts, man. We finally wised up and called one of those teacher supply stores, and bingo! Nifty little boxes of 72 slides for nine bucks. The silver tape was kind of spendy,14 dollars, at the stained glass shop, though I think if we lived closer together we could have shared a roll. Though I would NOT want to arm wrestle that woman for the last piece. She eats her spinach, if you know what I mean. When I was 27 I told her I was too old for her to be able to spank me, and so she did. This whole blog and yeeeears of therapy later, I think I'm beginning to recover.

Here's hoping I have enough energy and patience to make these picture-slide things in the next week and a half. Guess I better eat my veggies, can I get a what, what? What?!

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